Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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