Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
