Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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