Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
