I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
