just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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