why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
