oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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