very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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