Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
this hospital has no fireball
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
