dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize