fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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