please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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