Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
