i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
