I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
