just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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