VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
