Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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