he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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