I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
