Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
