i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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