He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
