You can't motorboat a personality
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
