note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
