this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
