is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
