I am full of burrito and curiosity
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize