just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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