He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There r osticjed everywhere
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
