i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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