the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
