i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I understand Curling. That high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
