just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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