just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
