I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
