you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
