I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he thought i was a dude.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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