Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
