toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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