I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize