You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
