Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
