omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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