You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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