people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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