May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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