i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
