her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
