somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
