mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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