Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
