Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
