Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
