Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
