You can't motorboat a personality
He is an equal opportunity slut.
love makes seman taste better
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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