I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
