While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
