if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
God, you're like boner-b-gone
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we should paint friendship bongs
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