Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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