Small penises have feelings too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
