You're so nebulous sometimes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
