When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Boobs are out for the taking
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
