Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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