Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize