he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
